sunset at dawn
by SennoTsubasa
Summary: the life of sawada natsuki in eight movements


this is a summer princess by starchains au made with permission. read that first or you'll be hella confused. this thing is hella purple prose-y and has shitty grammar like you won't believe. read at your own risk.

* * *

 **01\. warning**

"Xanxus,"

Her eyes burn orange.

"No matter how much i have come to love you over the years, remember,"

(burn it in your fucking mind)

"That I hate you. I hate you and I hate Vongola."

Her eyes darken as she drops her voice down to a whisper,

"I know I'm weak, but one thing you should know, is that I _always_ remember and I _always_. pay. my. dues."

 **02\. wedding**

You first see her from the wedding stand.

She's in the traditional white wedding dress with a glazed look upon her eyes.

Unease runs through you but you push it down (ignore it), instead you focus on that fire making its way down your spine.

An all consuming burn (of ragefurydespairtiredness _hope_ ), a potent mixture of that ever present rage along with a soul crushing _hope_ that this is what you need to finally be _family_.

She's closer now, stepping forwards in small stumbling steps and now you can see her in her entirety.

She's a small but gangly thing, the white dress accenting all the curves she doesn't have in a desperate attempt to make her look older.

It doesn't work.

It's at odds with her young and round face where traces of stubborn baby fat remains, clinging onto her cheeks.

She steps onto the podium accompanied by Iemitsu, the idiot trash (favored- always better, _they_ said. He should have been the one if Nonno had to take in another child. Strong, but tame, always eager to please, the perfect hound dog).

She pushes at him, pawing small weak kitten claws.

He holds her arms firmly.

"It'll all be for the best" he whispers as he presents her to you.

You shove that unease down low.

(you shouldn't have)

 **03\. cherries**

She flinches.

Small subtle things a lesser eye would miss, but there, a stark reminder of the kindness of The Vongola and your own personal failure, filling him with a familiar rage always in the back of his mind.

You growl.

You stand up irritably and start pacing, a ferocious scowl on your face. Your people know to avoid you on days like this, when that _ragefuryanger_ comes to the forefront unable to be ignored.

 **04\. first chance**

She comes to you in the night, a pale wraith hovering in front of him.

"Would you divorce me if I asked?"

Red hot leaps through your veins in an instant.

"Why?" you ask quietly, eyes staring, boring into hers intently.

"Choice" she states back evenly. "I could marry you again, I could marry a random hooligan from the street, or i could not marry at all, but it will be _my_ choice "

You are conflicted.

The idea that she would ever be someone else's rankles (she's _his_ , and he always protects what is his).

(and quietly, you admit to yourself that you enjoy not being _the bastard_ , for once)

She is the key and he doesn't want to let her go, despite the fact that he's depriving her control of her life (god knows that he'd had precious little of that since he entered this one).

She stands still, blank faced, but you can see the glimmer in her eyes. A light at the end of the tunnel.

You squash down any feelings of guilt.

"No."

No, you say.

I won't because I'm selfish.

I won't because it'll be better in here (Where you'll have a cage of gold- poisonous gold, but gold all the same).

I won't, because better this than the blood and steel of the world outside.

(Icarus fell, didn't you know?)

At least here you have some semblance of control over her environment, you think as you stare

at flinty eyes, the hard set of her mouth, desperation holding back despair.

No, you think as your eyes linger on the stiff set of her disappearing back.

It will be for the best.

(you were never one for nostalgia)

 **05\. second chance**

You see her with the trash, her wimpy, pathetic brother that didn't want the seat and didn't even have the decency to remember his family.

(like father, like son they say)

"Divorce me from Xanxus."

He shrugs uncomfortably in that clueless way of his that makes you _burn_ and you see her shoulders slump.

"...Um….. don't you get along with Xanxus?"

"So no."

"I-I'm sorry, but it's for the best."

"Of course." she states, emotionless

"Anything for the famiglia."

(But nothing for family)

 **06\. burning asphodels**

You don't notice her absence until a lackey comes, pale and white with fear.

"Trash ( _what._ )"

You are terse and irritable today, your intuition a raging hurricane _and you don't know why_.

"The Mistress-"

You sit up.

" _What._ "

"-she's going to jump-"

" _Where._ " you grind out.

"At the intersection but-"

BOOM!

You jump out of the hole you've just shot in the wall as you go down, _down_ until your feet hit the roof of a building as you sprint east.

You're almost there when you see her.

She raises her head, eyes meeting yours as she strikes a match

and

jumps.

She burns on the way down.

You stand, stunned, until she falls out of your sight with a soft crack.

Instantly you're on the move again as you jump down onto the street, the mass of people around her still smoldering form parting for you like the red sea.

You stumble forwards- one step, two steps, three steps,

and fall down to your knees, eyes staring blindly.

You reach out a trembling hand just as someone touches down beside you.

The last thing you see is her slowly burning in a pool of bright red blood, neck twisted at an unnatural angle, and her sightless eyes, staring into the sky.

 **07\. red** **children**

You dream of red.

Red, the color of your mother's rose bouquets.

Red, the color of your mother's vibrant, smiling lips whispering false promises into ears.

Red, the color of your eyes

and the color of her blood.

You dream of red.

 **08\. anticipation**

You wake up in silence, hands cuffed, and stare into smoldering orange eyes.

"We've been compromised."

In the gardens, a single white orchid slowly unfurls above a mass of dark, purple, berries.

(It was the beginning of the end.)


End file.
